


Taka's Box

by chinchillasinunison



Series: The Hagakure-Ishimaru Sitcom Universe [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Family, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Big Brothers, Crack, Family Dynamics, Gen, Minor Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Owada Mondo, Sneaking Around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:28:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28725867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chinchillasinunison/pseuds/chinchillasinunison
Summary: In which Taka receives a special delivery, Yasuhiro is nosy, and Daiya is an enabler. Featuring Takaaki not giving a shit and Mondo giving a lot of them.
Relationships: Hagakure Yasuhiro/Owada Daiya
Series: The Hagakure-Ishimaru Sitcom Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105859
Comments: 11
Kudos: 56





	Taka's Box

Yasuhiro hummed casually as he strolled to the front door. He ordered a new bundle of incense online several days ago and he just got the notification that his order arrived. He opened the door, plucked the small box off the doorstep, and turned around to leave all in one motion, before stopping and standing there for a second. He turned back to the door and opened it again.

"Hey, Dad, did you or Mom order something?" He called towards the kitchen.

Takaaki glanced up from his cup of coffee. "No."

"Hm."

He put down his box and turned his attention to the much larger one that it was sitting on outside. He dragged it inside and flipped it so it stood on its small end. It was long, standing around 4 and a half feet. His father, at least a touch curious, came over to watch.

"You could hide a kid in that thing," Takaaki observed with that gruff voice straight out of a procedural, "And I bet several sickos have…"

Hiro shuttered. "Well, it's too light to be a dead body or something. I wonder what's inside…"

"That's our address, so it's not a misdelivery…" the other confirmed after squinting at the label on the package.

Just then, Kiyotaka emerged from his room and scuttled towards them like a sandpiper following the receding tide. "Oh, it's here! Wonderful!" He wrapped his arms around the box and carried it away, giving the pair the sweetest of smiles as he left.

"Hm. Mystery solved, I suppose," said their father, shrugging before taking another sip of coffee.

"This only raises more questions, to be honest. Like, what does _Taka_ of all people possibly need that would come in a box that size? A lifetime supply of highlighters?"

"You're really overestimating how much I'm invested in this."

"I mean, he's your kid. Aren't you worried about what he's buying? You're always harping on me for that kinda stuff..."

"I harp on you because Taka doesn't have eight million down the tube."

Hiro gave a pained smile as if he'd been burned and trying not to show it before sheepishly picking his package back up. With their conversation sullied by the subject of his debts, they awkwardly parted ways.

Yasuhiro was deeply unsatisfied regarding the mystery package, but he just shrugged it off. He wasn't exactly a proactive guy, so without any prompting he generally wouldn't pursue something like that too deeply. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for him, he had a boyfriend that came over later who, by virtue of being a former gang leader, was very good at egging people on.

"Babe, you should totally take a peek at what's inside," said Daiya as they laid on the floor together in Hiro's bedroom.

"Isn't that kinda... creepy?"

"Psht! Nah! Yer a big brother now, it's part of the gig to bug yer little bro!"

"Dude, I've been an only child all my life, ya gotta explain the appeal of the whole teasing thing to me."

"Because it's fun! An' ain't ya curious what he's got in that big thing?"

"No duh I am. It's just, ya know…" He gestured vaguely as if it meant anything, but he still imparted a sense of unspecific trepidation. "Besides, Taka's an actual hall monitor. There's no way I could sneak past him."

"Damn, I forgot 'bout that part…"

A beat, then Daiya flipped over so he rested on his forearms. He spoke, "Hey, I just thought 'a somethin'. You're clairvoyant, ain't ya? Why don't ya just tap into the fifth dimension or whatever to see what's inside with yer mind?"

Hiro turned only halfway, a lazy smile slinking across his mug. "You _know_ it doesn't work like that. I told you, my head's a radio with a dial that's always tuning. Sometimes you get the song you're looking for, but most of the time it's just static or two stations overlapping."

Daiya smirked, playfully teasing one of his boyfriend's cords. "I dunno, maybe it's 'cause yer pickin' up too many signals. You ever consider twistin' these into bunny ears?"

"Very funny." He turned all the way over and poked his pompadour. "You sure this thing isn't a muffler?"

The pair chuckled.

"So what are ya gonna do?"

"Prolly wait 'til he goes to bed. He's _always_ under the covers by ten, directly after his study session. We'll take a quick look, then get right back out."

And so they waited, allowing Kiyotaka ample time to fall into a deep sleep. Hiro carefully pushed open the door and he and Daiya slipped inside.

"Where d'ya think it is?"

Hiro glanced to the closet, devoid of anything besides clothes, then to the desk and the bookshelf and Taka's kendo sword in its stand. Everything was in its proper place, as always. Then, his eyes landed on the bed, his step-brother laying perfectly straight with arms to his sides like a soldier. Wordlessly, he pointed downwards and he and Daiya exchanged nods.

They tiptoed over and stooped at either side of the bed. Daiya dipped out of sight and Hiro heard the box scoot. It thumped against his knees. Taka's face twitched. Hiro, panicky, pointed back to Daiya, who dragged the box back in his direction. Taka wriggled in his sleep, his brow scrunching.

"I told you… no running in the… halls…" A grunt rang from his throat. "Where… did you even… get rollerblades…?"

"The hell's wrong with 'm?" Daiya whispered over the bed.

"Aw, sounds like he's having a nightmare," cooed Hiro, "Poor little guy…"

Daiya was baffled. "What kinda nightmare--?"

"No, no, no!" Taka puffed out, "Please… li... listen… I'm only trying to..."

Hiro comforted in as low and soothing a tone as he could manage, "Shh… shh… chill out, dude. You're doing a great job…"

With Yasuhiro incidentally making himself a distraction, Daiya pulled the rest of the box free. The one-time gangster took out his pocketknife (which he always carried on his person) and slid it across the strip of packing tape. He opened the flaps and was transfixed by the contents-- but not in a positive way.

"What the… fuck?"

Hiro shuffled over. "Dude… is that…" His voice died because he couldn't believe what he was saying, but it came back in a hushed cry, "...an anime body pillow?!"

"An anime body pillow _of my brother?!"_ Daiya, completely in a tizzy, forgot he was supposed to be quiet. He shouted that loud and clear and Kiyotaka bolted upright in alarm.

"I CAN EXPLAIN!" he exclaimed upon waking, as if even in his dreams he foresaw this possiblity.

"You fuckin' better!"

"I will!" Taka assured, and then he sighed. "Lately, I've been having... disturbed sleep. I am plagued with night terrors, likely due to stress. During one of my biweekly pop culture study sessions with Hifumi, I mentioned this offhand. And, well, he started talking about how when he experiences similar issues he sleeps with the same sort of pillow-- of Princess Piggles, of course…"

"So lemme guess… you heard that and thought the same thing might work for you. I mean, you like cuddling with Mondo, but Dad doesn't let you guys sleep together, so it seems like a good alternative in your mind."

"Exactly! And then I commissioned Hifumi for the artwork!"

"Wait, wait, wait... but aren't these pillows a sex thing?"

Hiro covered his boyfriend's mouth. "Daiya!"

Taka put up a hand. "Do not worry, elder Owada. I was very specific in not allowing the artwork to depict anything… untoward."

That was true. The illustrated Mondo on either side was fully clothed, and the positions he laid in weren't anything compromising. One was in his coat, lounging on his back with both hands behind his head, the other was coatless and rolled over on his side, his hair down. It was very, very weird, but it wasn't gross.

"Okay… guess I can take some comfort in that, but… were you plannin' on tellin' him at all?"

"Well… I, umm… hadn't considered it…"

They both stared at him.

"Listen, its entire purpose is to be here when he can't! He doesn't need to know! This was s-supposed to stay a secret between myself and-- AUGH!" He flopped forward and sobbed into his blanket, "Just punish me already! I know that's what you want to do!"

"Hey, hey, hey, we're not handing out punishments to anybody, alright?" said Hiro.

"Yeah, that ain't anybody's job."

Taka lifted his head. "But you are upset, and this is your brother's image I am apparently tainting. I deserve _some_ admonishing. And since this is a matter of your family, do whatever you see fit."

Yasuhiro and Daiya exchanged troubled looks. Then, Daiya stroked his chin, thinking it over.

"Dude, you're not seriously--"

"Up-up-up!" He said, wagging a finger at him. "I'm _thinking_..." Soon, both hands dropped. "Okay, I think I got it. Kid, let me borrow it for a little bit. If ya do, you got my word I'll give it back same as new. We get joint custody. That seem fair?"

"Yes sir!"

As they walked out of the bedroom, Hiro couldn't help but stare at the pillow tucked under his boyfriend's arm.

"Why do you want that thing?"

"Oh, I got my reasons…"

* * *

Even before he entered the kitchen, Mondo could hear his brother's laughter.

"Damn, bro! You're a fuckin' riot!"

He wondered who the hell he was talking to. Did Takemichi stop by? Seemed way too early for that…

When he walked in, his jaw hit the floor.

Sitting in one of the chairs pulled up to the island was… a pillow. A pillow with a drawing of him on it.

"D-dude… what the fuck?! Where did you get that?!"

Daiya pointedly ignored him and asked the pillow, "Did ya hear somethin', bro?" He nodded as if it responded. "Yeah, yeah. Musta been the wind."

Mondo was steaming. "Ya bastard, what are you--?"

"Ya know, I was thinkin', kid… if some... hypothetical S.O.B. wanted to talk to me right now, he oughta have his shit in order. Like if he, say, left all his dirty-ass dishes in the sink, well…"

He groaned, throwing his head back, "AAUUGH! Fine! You win, asshole!" He stomped over to the sink and turned the water on. "But when I finish you're trashin' that thing."

Daiya fanned himself. "Oh! It's a warm wind! Full 'a hot air!"

"Tch. Shut up…"

**Author's Note:**

> You guys remember the anthology bit where Taka tried to commission Hifumi for a Mondo dakimakura? I do. Oh boy, do I.
> 
> Also, Hifumi is tutoring Taka on pop culture as well instead of exclusively Makoto because it just makes sense given his talent. It's non-despair I can do what I want.


End file.
